Freedom of Surrender

As I consider whether I suffer or not, I wonder what actually qualifies. Do cold showers or mornings without coffee count as suffering? Who decides how long, how deep, or how wide it has to be?

Webster's dictionary defines suffering as "being forced to endure pain, inconvenience or loss", all three of which are very subjective. Everyone has a different tolerance for pain, and while I may think cold water for a shower is inconvenient, others may find it more convenient than no water. And then there is the matter of loss. What we view as loss is completely in the perception of the sufferer, and depends heavily on what we feel we have a right to have. For example, the world would say "it's your right to be happy above all else", therefore if your marriage makes you unhappy, you should leave it. You have a right to pursue what makes you happy. Our constitution tells us we have a right to freedom, but do we really? Freedom from what? Our politicians say we have a right to health care, to equal pay. My flesh tells me I have a right to a bigger house, or a more comfortable lifestyle; I shouldn't have to do without the latest trends or newest electronics. My flesh also tells me that I have a right to achieve my dreams, to always be treated well; I have a right to get revenge, to be satisfied, to do whatever makes me feel good.
Suffering is being denied what is rightfully mine.

Nancy L DeMoss in her book, "Lies Women Believe", lists as lie #10, "I have my rights".
Some of the things she suggests we wrongly believe we have a right to are...
to be happy
to be understood
to be loved
to a good marriage
to companionship
to romance
to be treated with respect
to be valued and appreciated by your husband, by your children
to rest and time off
to a good night's sleep
to have help with the housework
Do I live like I have rights? Sure I do. To Nancy's list, I would add the right to...
be heard
always have my next meal within 5 hours
get married
give birth
never feel uncomfortable
(which oddly enough conflicts with the one before it)
not be asked to get up once I sit down
never be betrayed
be consulted about everything
have my "day off"
not have my plans changed

This concept of rights creates an imbalance, a false sense of loss, which then creates an illusion of suffering. My right "to be happy" can, all by itself, completely tip the scale and slide me into a place of suffering where I don't belong.
Suffering, I remind you, is God's tool to crucify the flesh, but that won't happen as long as we believe our flesh, believe that to sacrifice the things we have or wish we had, to live with unfulfilled longings, is really suffering. Suffering isn't optional, however, we can certainly reduce unnecessary suffering in the flesh by surrendering our rights. Flesh creates a distracting illusion around the choice of surrender and sacrifice, so that we believe those things, themselves, are the actual suffering we must avoid. Ironically, by falling for that, we are more trapped then ever, more miserable in our suffering, always focusing on what we don't have, never feeling satisfied or content, comparing our situations with others and coming out on the short end of the stick. Life becomes unfair, we blame God, and we feel stagnate.

Can you see how all these "rights" compete with living the death sentence everyday? Can you see how they keep flesh alive and kicking, keep you in the spiritual quagmire that you are tired of reentering?

The Surrendered life by Oswald Chambers
"To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his whole way of looking at things.  What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not our goodness, honesty, or our efforts to do better, but real solid sin. But we must surrender all pretense that we are anything, and give up all our claims of even being worthy of God's consideration. Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves. Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives? Are we ready to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?
We will suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before we fully surrender. When people really see themselves as the Lord sees them, it is not the terribly offensive sins of the flesh that shock them, but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing Jesus Christ."