I tend to think of Weakness as this place I go to by accident. Not only am I disappointed that I didn't arrive where I wanted to be, but I'm frustrated because I was trying to avoid this place altogether. "Why am I here again!", and "I don't want to be here!" keep screaming in my head. I feel angry, afraid, trapped, hopeless. There is something suffocating about this place that makes me feel desperate. I'm embarrassed for having come to Weakness in spite of all my efforts to avoid it. Nothing is going the way I want it to go, and I'm struggling with my failure to do anything about it, struggling with my failure to be strong, struggling with the thought that People will think I'm weak, and get the wrong impression of me.
Have you been there too?
{I've said it before and I'll say it again.}
I hate being weak.
I hate being reminded that I am weak.
I don't like it when my own failures and mistakes remind me that I'm weak.
I don't like being reminded that I am weak when other people correct me.
I don't like feeling weak, period. Exclamation mark.
Stupid feels weak;
crying feels weak;
being wrong feels weak;
fear feels weak;
losing feels weak;
saying I'm sorry feels weak;
not defending myself feels weak;
letting someone else win an argument feels weak;
failure feels weak;
vulnerable feels weak;
loneliness feels weak;
falling behind feels weak;
emotions feel weak;
and feeling weak just plain feels wrong.
So, I conclude, anything that makes me feel weak must be bad and must be avoided.
Am I right?
Is weakness like that for you?
Is it the undesirable, accidental, unwelcome, uncomfortable, temporary stop you're forced to go to against your will, that should never be part of your journey?
What if weakness was something entirely different?
What if weakness was a condition, a permanent condition with no escape?
What if weakness was a good thing?
What if it was better than strength?
What if?
Could you believe that?
Could you believe it is even possible?
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