Spiritual Marathoner

I'm not much into jogging. The idea doesn't appeal to me. Never done a marathon, and doubt seriously that I ever will. That is, I've never participated in a running kind of marathon. Now, if we are talking about a marathon of Jane Austen movies? That I can do.
There is this big difference.
When I settle down with my coffee and knitting to embark on hours of movie watching, not a single doubt as to whether I can make it to the end ever crosses my mind.
When I approach running in my exercise clothes and running shoes, nothing enters my mind except doubts of whether I can make it. From the second I start, all I can think about is "when can I quit".  Every inch of my body tells me this is not a good idea and my brain agrees. I'm afraid I'll feel pain, afraid I won't be able to make it, afraid I'll embarrass myself.
I can conjure no image that could make me want to do this.

Endurance
The ability to hold out for the duration, while going through hardship, pain and stress.
Sounds dreadful! Sounds scary!

Endurance is just not my thing, I'm not good at it. It seems too risky to face something I know might drag on for a long time, because I doubt my ability to endure. Doubts of whether I can keep going weigh me down, and make me want to throw up my hands and say "I can't do it anymore". Maybe I'm afraid that I won't be able to endure, maybe I'm lazy and just don't want to work hard. Either way, I would really prefer that you don't test my endurance. I just want everyone, including God, to make it easy for me. That's one of the reasons I don't like weakness hanging around, because I don't like having my endurance put to the test. Weakness tests my endurance, therefore, weakness scares me.

Maybe the thought of endurance and weakness scares you right now.
Maybe you are in a test or trial that has you feeling so weak you doubt whether you can endure it.

How does a pregnant woman who has just been told that her baby is actually a cancerous growth endure the wait to know if it is malignant?
How does any woman endure the hours of labor to deliver a stillborn child?
How do you endure a future without holding the child you had loved and kissed for 5 months, for 2 years?
How does one endure a lifetime of being trapped in a body he can't use? a future of constant pain?
How do you endure the dreaded news of cancer, endure a treatment that is worse than the disease?
How do you endure watching someone you've known and loved all your life slowly be drained of all strength? How do you watch them suffer and die slowly?
How do you endure sexual abuse, betrayal, being dumped or cheated on by the one you love?
How do you endure shame, addiction, the joylessness of depression, the monthly reminder of no pregnancy, the delays in international adoption?

I can put a face to every one of these scenarios, sometimes multiple faces. Yet, they are only a filmy layer on the top of so many stories I have heard, each making me ask the question,
"how could anyone endure that?!"
I'm not a merciful person, but even I find it impossible not to weep over the memories.
My heart literally aches.
How does anyone endure?!

The author of Hebrews says "run with endurance".
I'm not even sure if I can crawl.

You know those scenes in movies where the hero fights against all odds and hardships to finish a race, and there, at the end, is a crowd cheering him on. Can you remember how it made you feel? I think there is something inspirational in seeing someone endure to the end, but what really gets me all emotional and teary eyed is the cheering crowd that has gathered to help bring him home. Seeing all that support gives me such a lift, I could almost swear I was floating.

Revisiting Hebrews.
Let me introduce you to the folks that the author told to run with endurance.
"remember the former days, when, after being enlightened, you endured a great conflict of sufferings, partly, by being made a public spectacle through reproaches and tribulations, and partly by becoming sharers with those who were so treated.
For you showed sympathy to the prisoners, and accepted joyfully the seizure of your property, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward." (10:32-36)
Remember
Then the author walks them down the hall of faith for a walk of "rememberies".
"There's Abel," pointing to the picture on one side, "and Enoch next to him. There's Noah," as he gestures to the other side of the hall, "Abraham with Sarah, their son Isaac, grandson Jacob, and great grandson Joseph. Look," he crosses the hall again, "that's Moses, he chose to endure abuse rather than enjoy the limited pleasures of sin. Here, you'll like this, it's a youtube clip of the walls of Jericho falling down. See that woman walking out unscathed? That's Rahab, she's a prostitute." And on and on it goes.
There were so many more! Some mocked and beaten, some imprisoned and in chains.
"They were stoned, sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground." (11:37-38)
All of these endured, but none of them got what was promised.
Why?
Because God had something better for us, and without us, these could not be made perfect.
But they endured!

Hey,
there they are,
can you see them, can you hear them?
They are cheering you on, saying "don't give up"
And look,
 straight ahead.
 It's Jesus!
He's got his hands out saying "You're not alone. I'll never leave you. Come, I'll give you everything you need to run this race. I've gone on before you, I know every step, every pothole, every twisted ankle, every sin that weighs you down.

Oh,
"SINCE WE HAVE SO GREAT A CLOUD OF WITNESSES SURROUNDING US,

let us also lay aside every encumbrance,

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus,

the author and perfecter of faith,

who for the joy set before Him endured the cross,

despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself,

so that you may not grow weary and lose heart."  (12:1-3)

Imagine that!
Now there's an image that motivates, that takes the weight off and makes me feel lighter, that makes me think maybe, just maybe, I can endure. No, not can! It makes me think maybe I will endure.
Maybe, one day, I'll even be able to say that with no "maybees" attached.

Amazing, isn't it, how that image can change everything you are feeling in one split second.
It's the image I need everyday that I wake up with this death sentence.