Symbiotic Relationship

"It is good for me that I was afflicted, 

that I might learn your statutes." 

psalm119:71

Suffering, says the psalm writer,  is the avenue through which I learn more of God's word, therefore, it is a good thing that I suffer. *choke*
Indeed, suffering, trials, and discipline have made me dependent on God's word like a kidney failure patient is dependent on dialysis, but still, it never occurred to me to say, "how good it is to suffer!" Maybe the benefits just didn't excite me enough to say that.

I used to wish all the time that I would have a desire for the Word of God, even prayed for it. Why did it never seem to materialize? I have at least one theory as to why, are you interested?

To be truly spiritual, you have to read your Bible everyday, right? As a young person growing up attending church and camp, I heard this all the time. I wanted to comply, wanted to look spiritual, wanted to be like the godly examples of others so that I could be an example as well. Unfortunately, appearance and people pleasing are fleshly motivations, unable to produce the desire I knew was missing.

Let me illustrate my theory with a look at how we desire food, which I will classify into two categories: cravings and hunger. Cravings, or hankerings for foods, come most often when our appetites are satisfied.  Cravings, at its basic level, is really just lust, seeking after what is sensational and tantalizing.
Hunger is a more desperate need for food brought on by starving, it drives us to eat something more substantial in order to survive. Hunger, at its most basic level, is the difference between life and death.

I thought I wanted to hunger after God's word, but what I was really hoping for was to satisfy my cravings. I never let my flesh get hungry, so all that was left was a chance that I might "hanker" after God's word. As long as I kept satisfying my fleshly appetite with sensational cravings, I was never going to crave God's word, much less hunger after it.

The truth was that the Bible didn't excite me enough. I loved reading fiction, loved the feeling of being drawn into those worlds, and lost in the feelings those stories ignited. The Bible just couldn't appeal to me on the same level, so I found myself always choosing other delights. My mistake was expecting the Bible to appeal to my flesh. God's word is not the answer to cravings, it is satisfaction to the desperately hungry soul, and we won't be hungry unless we starve the flesh.
Do you imagine that your flesh will ever want to live off what God has to say?

You may already know that Psalm 119 is dedicated to a love of God's word, law, precepts, statutes, etc., but have you noticed that it has a great deal to say about suffering as well? While reading this psalm, I came to understand that suffering and the word of God are in a symbiotic relationship; they cannot live without each other. Compare the verse above "It is good for me that I was afflicted that I might learn your statues." ( v. 71), with another verse in Psalm 119, "If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction." (v. 92). Do you see it?
By suffering, I turn to the Word.
By the Word, I survive the suffering.
They are mutually dependent.

Look into this psalm at more of what God's word is meant to do for you in the midst of suffering. May it encourage your soul as it has mine.

"My soul weeps because of grief; 

strengthen me according to your word." 28

"This is my comfort in my affliction, 

that your word has revived me." 50

"The cords of the wicked have encircled me, 

but I have not forgotten your law." 61

"It is good for me that I was afflicted, 

that I might learn your statutes." 71

"I know, O Lord, that your judgments are righteous, 

and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me." 75

"If your law had not been my delight, 

then I would have perished in my affliction." 92

"I will never forget your precepts, 

for by them You have revived me." 93

"I am exceedingly afflicted, 

revive me, O Lord, according to your word." 107

Every attempt I made at reading through the whole Bible eventually sputtered and died before I got to the end. When that would happen, I rationalized it away by telling myself that the Bible could be consumed in little bits here and there, that parts were just as good as the whole. In reality, I was just making excuses for my failure. Bible reading checklists were available, but I refused to use them because they seemed too mechanical. Funny thing is, God has created me with a task finishing personality, "mechanical" is the best approach for me. "Know thyself" the way God has designed you; it can open very practical doors to success. I'm now on my 8th reading, and what a difference it has made in my life!

So when I found myself emerging from depression, realizing that I was dependent on God's Word like never before, that it gave me life and breath, that to become disconnected from it would be to suddenly lose the very oxygen I breathe to stay alive, I remembered my prayer. After all these years, I finally desired the Word of God. I cried tears of joy, marveling that my Lord would do such a thing, admitting that I would have never chosen the suffering that He used to bring me to this point, thanking Him that He did.

"I know, O Lord, that your decisions are fair, 

you disciplined me because I needed it. 

Now let your unfailing love comfort me, your servant. 

Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, 

for your law is my delight." (v. 75-76)

"Forever O Lord, your word stands firm in heaven. 

Your faithfulness extends to every generation, 

as enduring as the earth You created. 

Your laws remain true today, for everything serves your plans.

If your law hadn't sustained me with joy, 

I would have died in my misery. 

I will never forget your commandments, 

for by them you give me life."  (v. 89-93) 

new living translation

The eternal endurance and Sovereign power of God's Word is my sustainer and restorer of joy.

Make it your truth!