They say, "no one ever said it would be fair."
As if that is supposed to convince me that it shouldn't be!
Well, I'm not convinced.
Just because no one ever said it, does that mean I shouldn't expect it?
Recently, at a conference for prospective missionaries, a young woman pulled a surprise prank. At this conference, my husband and I attend every year, the participants are randomly shuffled each day; their places arbitrarily chosen by the Director. Teachers get to stay where they choose. This year, for the first time, one participant reacted to the unexpected arrangement by shuffling us around too. I don't know what she was thinking, but I know that if I had been in her place, I would have thought to myself, it's only fair they be subjected to the same treatment.
If I have to be moved, it's only fair that everyone has to be moved as well.
You call me out on doing something wrong, you better make sure you are consistent in pointing out similar failures in others, because if you don't, I'll let you know.
Be fair. Always. In all situations. As I see it to be fair.
As long as I can remember, I have been an advocate of fairness and equality. I don't know if I can say I was born that way, but, even as a child, I had certainly developed an overly sensitive sense of fairness. My first memory of encountering unfairness was when my older siblings were all being taken to see "The Jungle Book" in a movie theater, while my twin brother and I were not allowed to go. Now, understand, in those days, a movie was a rare occurrence, videos didn't exist, and our television was still a little black and white job. I didn't need to know what a "movie" was to realize that I was clearly missing out on something very exciting, and the explanation that I was too young made no sense to me. It was all just too distressingly unfair! No matter how much begging and whining I did, the answer was always the same. How could my parents do this to me?! Why was I being deprived of this wonderful experience? Why was I being picked on? What excuse could be good enough to console me, when I was being cruelly denied pleasure? A pleasure, by the way, that was being freely bestowed on others, who were no more deserving than I was. It just wasn't fair!
That began my theme song.
I have to sleep on hard boards with my brother's feet in my face, while my older siblings get to sleep in the camper on beds. "That's not fair!"
She can eat anything she wants and not get fat. "That's not fair!"
They got pregnant the very first month they tried! "That's not fair!"
How come God gave that missionary a nice car that even has video monitors and didn't give us one just as nice? Are you saying we aren't as deserving as they are, God? "That's not fair!"
Fair: that which comes out the way I want it to.
Did you ever think the good brother of the prodigal son, in Luke 15, makes a justifiable point? I did.
"Look! All these years I've served you faithfully, never ignoring any of your commands, and you have NEVER EVER (my emphasis) thrown a party for me. But as soon as this other son of yours, who has spent all his money on prostitutes, comes back, you show him all this honor!"
I don't get it! That's not fair!
"You have made them equal to us"
When the vineyard workers, in the parable told in Matthew 20, saw their co-workers, who had hired on at the last hour, receive a full day's wage, they got to hoping for a big pay raise. Excitement built as they calculated their pay according to the new hourly wage. It would only be fair to be paid more. They had worked all day! They deserved it! They were in for a big surprise.
What! Are you kidding me? This is the same amount you gave the others!
"Didn't you agree to a day's wage when I hired you?", the vineyard owner asked, "Do I not have the right to pay these men what I want with my own money?"
Does my generosity make you envious?
In this way, the first shall be last and the last shall be first, the Lord says.
Are you saying that Your idea of equality will seem unfair to me, that Your gift of grace is bestowed equally, regardless of rank or order?
Did you notice, in my Jungle Book story, why it bugged me so much that I wasn't getting to go to the movies with my siblings? I took issue with the fact that they were no more deserving of this special treatment than I was. Why would I think that? Obviously, equality of reward means equal value, equal worth. To reward someone with more than is given to me is the same as telling me that I'm not worth as much.
Should reward be imbalanced? Doesn't that seem just a tad unfair?
Walking with Jesus on the beach
After Jesus reveals to Peter that his death will involve suffering, He gives him the command "follow Me". Peter does exactly what I would do, he looks back at the other disciple, John, and asks, "what about him?" There's no doubt, Peter and John shared an elevated position in the group of disciples. I suppose, being of the same rank, Peter could be asking because he doesn't want his friend John to miss out on any blessings. Me, I would be wondering, "I hope John will have to suffer as much as me, because it wouldn't be fair if he didn't."
For things to be fair, you've got to compare.
Jesus answers, "what I do with him is none of your concern, you, Peter, follow Me!" (John 21)
Oooooh, smack, I hear that.
What do I conclude now, after years of singing my theme song?
The idea of fairness is flesh based, and it undermines my belief in God's justice.
"Fair" was never in Jesus's vocabulary, and it shouldn't be in mine.
To live by the "fair" rule is to invite misery to walk along with me. It only succeeds in making me discontent and blind to God's goodness. I compare and complain, speaking words that are no longer acceptable to God.
What probably shames me the most about my paradigm of fairness is that I made God out to be less than good, less than loving, less than perfect, less than God.
That is a sin!
Jesus "while being reviled, He did not revile in return, while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously." 1peter2:23
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