Oh yes, I like to be right, because Being Right elevates me, gives me a lift. When you disagree with me you have knocked me down and I need to get back up on my high seat. I'm not interested in you being right, because I don't want you up there on my mountain, in my elevated place.
When it came time to divvy out jobs, I always wanted the ones that seemed more fun or cool or had more potential for recognition. If someone stood up in church to praise Sunday School teachers, then I wanted to teach Sunday School. If others were recognized for their servant like behavior, I suddenly wanted to wash dishes for the Lord.
Why did I want those positions? For the same reason that it is so humbling to do jobs beneath our level of expertise. Our jobs define us, they can elevate or humiliate us.
Jesus is invited to dinner on a Sabbath by a Pharisee who parades a sick man in front of him, to see if his compassion will win out over the Law. All eyes are watching him closely, but what they don't realize is that Jesus is watching them and has noticed that all who had been invited to the dinner were picking out the places of honor. So after he heals the man, he gives them this advice through a parable.
'If you are invited to a wedding feast, don't always head for the best seat. What if someone more distinguished than you has also been invited? What then? The host will have to come to you and say, 'This important person needs to have your seat, please move. Imagine how embarrassed you will be and by then you will have to take whatever seat you can get, probably at the foot of the table!
Instead, when you come, sit at the foot of the table. That way, when the host sees you, he will say, 'My dear friend, we have a much better place for you than this!' Think of how honored you will be in front of all the other guests.
"for everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled, and he who humbles himself shall be exalted."
luke14:11
Then Jesus turned to the host of the party who seemed to have invited a room full of self-important people.
When you throw a party, he says, don't invite friends, relatives, rich neighbors and dignitaries, don't invite people who can repay you, but instead invite the poor, crippled, blind and lame. In other words, invite the lowest of society, the ones who can't repay you, that way you will be repaid in the resurrection.
The guests were too high in their estimation of themselves, the host sought too much exaltation from the guests he chose to invite.
The truth is I'm most content when I'm up, when I'm being valued, and when I'm not, my pride seeks to console me by reminding me that I'm better than that.
Remarkably, we've come full circle.
What we have been working to expose on the surface, the shape of what makes us feel good about ourselves, of what gives us value, mimics the shape of what is underneath, the shape of our foundation. This is the rich soil for pride's roots. Anything that gives you value outside of Christ elevates you and pride puts a root there. The more things you rely on for your self-worth, the more invasive is your pride. It is not okay to leave pride alone. These roots affect your life daily. Pride motivates you to impress others, to imitate all that seems good to you. Don't be fooled. Eventually, the good crumbles and out of the soil of your flesh comes all the ugly manifestations that we looked at in the beginning of this book.
The most accurate instrument for measuring value outside of Christ is the motion sensor.
You are on a swing and your chains are made up of those things that make you feel good about yourself. As with a pendulum, movement from either direction starts the swing, whether the push comes from feeling good or feeling bad. Your true value in Christ is best measured by the complete absence of swing. Even the slightest movement away from your center in Christ, in whichever direction you choose, is a fluctuation away from your value in Christ. It is simple. When your ALL is all in Christ, your ALL is at the center of the Rock, and that Rock will not budge.
My life in Christ is like a rock.
A rock will not float.
A rock is impervious to hot air.
I've begun to analyze the movements of my pride, and am finding that humility has only one setting, "rock bottom". I'm a floater, not a sinker. I seem to be a balloon full of hot air, constantly trying to rise up. I keep pumping helium into my value, inflating my ego with importance, boosting my self-esteem.
My motion sensor needs a new calibration, one that will detect any vertical movement upward. Any movement upward, no matter how insignificant it may seem to me, is a move away from humility, a move away from my value in Christ. Any movement upward is a result of pumping my pride. Any movement upward will automatically bump someone else down.
How sensitive is your motion sensor?
Are you aware of when your value begins to swing, sensitive to the movement?
Do you long to be elevated?
Do you need a little lift now and then to feel okay or worthwhile?
What do you think of those you serve? Do you see them as beneath you, or yourself as better?
How do you feel about serving people who think they are better than you?
What do you do when you feel inferior? Do you put others down or mock them? Do you use their weaknesses to make you feel better about yourself?
Do you look for those with whom by comparison, you will feel superior?
In whose eyes do you want to be seen high? What about the people above you, do you want them to see you rising? Do you want to be exalted by those below you?
What about in God's eyes? How does He see you? Does He know the height of your pedestal? Does He take note of your elevation? Is it even possible to be elevated in God's eyes?
Actually, it is, but not by going in the direction you would imagine.
Jesus showed us a completely different way.
He showed us that in God's eyes, you move up by going down, by going low.
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