The beginning tremors of a minor earthquake can be very disorienting. The brain senses the movement before being able to identify the cause, so at first it just registers as confusion.
Example.
We were at a camp in the Sierra Nevadas one summer, when an earthquake hit southern California. The tremor was carried up the granite mountains and was felt in the middle of the night. I was awakened by the feeling that our cabin was rocking and, a little frightened, I tried to reason in my mind what was happening. In my groggy state, my brain offered up a possibility that must have satisfied my curiosity because I was able to drift right back to sleep. What did I conclude that put my mind at ease? I decided that it was a bear shaking our cabin. The next morning when I heard about the earthquake, I realized what had really happened and laughed at how ridiculous my explanation was, and even worse, how it made sense to me.
When the foundation of our self-worth suddenly tremors like an earthquake, we become very disoriented and wonder what is wrong. The automatic assumption is that the shaking of my worth comes from outside of me. The instinct is to grab onto something solid, something strong, something that restores my sense of balance.
In comes Flesh to the rescue.
It's not the weak, the ugly, the bad side of flesh that we spent time trying to identify at the beginning of this book; that just makes things worse.
No, only the strong, confident, powerful flesh is welcome at a time like this.
Anyway, aren't we supposed to counter a drop in self-esteem by resurrecting all that is good in us, all the positive? We are in Christ after all. It's not right to think bad thoughts about ourselves. We shouldn't let anyone trash us. Right?
What do you think when there is a tremor in your self-confidence?
"I deserve to be treated better than that."
"I should have been able to do that better."
"I’m not such a terrible person."
"Can’t they see how good I am, I’m just as good as so and so."
"I want someone to recognize my abilities."
"I don't want anyone to think I'm not perfect."
"I can’t stand the thought of someone not thinking well of me."
We welcome the confident flesh to come and tell us who we are in Christ.
hmmm...
does that sound right?
does it even work?
Let's see, do you still doubt yourself?
Do you ever think...
"Something is wrong with me"
"I'm not good enough."
"I'll never be good enough."
"I’m too stupid.
"I'm too ugly.
"I can’t do anything right."
"No one could ever love me."
"I’m bad."
"I always screw everything up."
"I’m just a big failure."
"I’m worthless."
Ooof, this isn't good. We shouldn't believe these things. What happened to our confidence in Christ?
Who has stolen it away? Was it Satan, my husband, a co-worker, someone from church, my "best friend", that gorgeous, popular, always evangelizing, perfect girl, my boyfriend, my room-mate, my boss, my dad, my mom?
If it wasn't for them, I could feel so confident all the time, be more secure with who I am. I wouldn't have to feel like I wasn't good enough, like I wasn't doing enough. I wouldn't have to feel so ugly, so worthless, so undeserving of love.
Would someone please make my ground stop shaking!
When you welcome the flesh to be your hero, rather than being rescued, you guarantee this constant rattling of your adequacy, this never-ending roller coaster of your value. You can't welcome the strength of your flesh and expect it to leave the ugly side at the door. I'm talking about strengthening those things about you that make you feel worthy, valuable, significant. It is a delusion to bolster your own self-confidence on the grounds that you are in Christ. Flesh is the frame that surrounds feeling good about yourself, looking good in front of others, self-promotion. Once flesh has put its mark on your self-worth, do you really think it wants to just hand all it has accomplished over to Christ? Do you think it would ever be willing to draw you towards finding your value in Christ alone, thereby giving up its own claim? Not likely!
Remember that the flesh doesn't work in conjunction with the Spirit, it works in constant opposition.
It may seem worthwhile and you may feel as if you have accomplished powerful things, but in the flesh all you have done is build a foundation that is shaky, inadequate and confusing at best.
It can never be solid like a Rock.
Think about it!
If your value is in Christ alone, can anyone steal it away from you?
Is it that fragile as to be threatened by someone's beauty, brains or talents?
No, it isn't! But the value gained in the flesh is.
It is always insecure, always vulnerable.
In Christ, I find all that I am, all that I need, the only thing that gives me value, the only Person that makes me significant. My identity is in Him and it is as secure as a rock. I belong to Christ and He defines who I am. Nothing I do can make it more true than it already is, and no one can take it away.
When I seek to add to my value, essentially, I am saying that Christ's value is not enough.
I must have more and from many sources.
That is not living by the truth of who I am in Christ.
The truth is that I don't deserve better, I should just go ahead and accept that.
The truth is that there is nothing good in me apart from Christ. So how is it bad if people think I'm bad?
I know I'm not perfect, so why should I make others think I am. That's a lie!
The truth is that I am loved beyond anything I can imagine. Can anyone love me more than Christ?
The truth is that I am in Christ, bought with a precious price, I am not my own. I have no more right to call myself worthless than to claim honor for myself.
Listen to what Oswald Chambers has to say on the subject.
"Oh the bravery of God in trusting us!
Do you say,
"but He has been unwise to choose me, because there is nothing good in me and I have no value"?
That is exactly why He chose you. As long as you think that you are of value to Him He cannot choose you, because you have purposes of your own to serve. But if you will allow Him to take you to the end of your own self-sufficiency, then He can choose you to go with Him.
We tend to say that because a person has natural ability, he will make a good Christian.
It is not a matter of our equipment, but a matter of our poverty;
not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us;
not a matter of natural virtues, of strength of character, of knowledge, or of experience,
all of that is of no avail in this concern."
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