Jars of Clay and Fluffy Towels

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, 
that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves;"

Jars of clay.
That's how other versions translate "earthen vessels". I love the way it sounds.
Jars of clay.
I picture them, brown and earthy looking, made of dirt, fragile, common, expendable.
Not much excitement over them, unless of course they are found in an archaeological dig. But that is unlikely to have been what Paul was thinking when he wrote these words.

The jar of clay is NOT the treasure, but rather the treasure is inside the jar of clay. What does that mean? It means that God is our source of the greatest, most incredible, limitless power there is and we are, well, (gulp) weak.
My flesh is the jar of clay, and when I say flesh, I mean everything about me that is apart from Christ.
How much is clay worth?
How much should I consider myself to be worth?
Is the amount of time I've spent focused on making life better for this jar of clay equal to its worth?

Oh, boy, have I made the worst investment ever!
This "jar of clay" has pretty much always been my first priority. How's it going to affect me? Am I going to like it? Is that the best for me? Will it be fun? Will it make me happy? Will it be enough?

The realization of the extent of prioritizing Amy.
It came to a climax in one ridiculously stupid event.
On this particular day, we were crossing the border into Mexico at Ciudad Juarez. Crossing the border was normally a very nerve-racking experience for me, especially this time because I was unfamiliar with the city. My tension kept rising, and by the time we got to the hotel for the night, I was deep into the "pamper Amy" zone, the land where Amy's needs came first, where anxiety was balanced with self-delighting.
Now, here is where it got stupid.
Amy silently claimed the fluffiest looking towel in the bathroom for herself. She didn't tell anyone, just sub-consciously labeled it hers. After having a difficult day, she felt entitled to some comforts. So when her daughter randomly used Amy's towel, the filth of selfishness vomited out of her mouth. She didn't realize why she was angry or even how selfish her actions were. She just felt like having that fluffy towel taken away was the end of the world.
I can look back now and say "unbelievable!" It wasn't really all about a fluffy towel, but what it represented, the inclination to give myself more value than a jar of clay is worth. I inflate my importance, and then, when I am taken advantage of, I get angry. Instead of groaning because I long to be in heaven and rid of this body, I groan because my body feels a little pinch of discomfort. I live under the impression that I have a right to be happy, am entitled to more, deserve better treatment.
Reality check.
Jars of clay are not placed in silk lined boxes, they're not given the "fluffy towel" treatment.
Anyway, fluffy towels are just an illusion, not worth the hype. All I've ever gotten from making myself a priority is a life full of misery and fear.

Paul would have us live differently. He tells us we have this treasure in jars of clay and that truth changes everything! Because...
"we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; 
perplexed, but not despairing; 
persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed;  
How is it that affliction can attack from all sides, but I am never crushed? How is it possible to be plagued by severe doubt, but I do not despair? How can persecution not leave me feeling forsaken, abandoned by God? How can I know that I won't be destroyed no matter how hard I am beaten?
This jar of clay has no value apart from Christ. I am both a dead and a dying man made alive only by the treasure of the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ in me. That treasure cannot be crushed, it cannot be destroyed, and that's the only thing that matters. What happens to this jar shouldn't make any difference.

"always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus's sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." *

I can't explain it, can't understand it, I can't even grasp it; I only know that there is nothing more true than this fact, two completely opposite realities co-exist in me, both the dying and living of Jesus at the same time. That should radically change the way I live. For Jesus's sake, for His purpose, for His glory, for His name, I live in order to be constantly handed over for death, constantly ready to die. I carry in this body the dying of Jesus, so that His life will be seen in me. I live to die so that the real living is Jesus in me.
That's the truth that I see in Paul's life.
That's the foundation of crosswalking.
That's the treasure worth living for.

Is it worth dying for?

* 2 Corinthians 4:7-11

What's in it for me?

Who decides what something is worth?

Obvious answer, we do,
and the more something is worth, the more potential it has to give us significance.
What we value becomes beautiful in our eyes. The greater the value, the more effort to preserve, protect, and pamper, the more likely we are to feel pain over its loss or damage.  Mistreatment is unacceptable because it reduces the value below what we think it should be. This is a problem. We may think something has great value, but we need others to agree in order for that value to be validated. Value is often determined based on the attitude of, "what's in it for me?" The value man assigns is therefore subjective and selfish.

Earlier in this book, I talked about our value system and asked you to make a list of all the things that give you value. My purpose then was to help you see how far off you are from finding your value in Christ alone, but that wasn't the final goal.
Up to this point, all I've written has been to get you to see your flesh for what it really is, in all its deceptive and alluring power, because that is what opposes the Spirit living within you and hinders you from walking by Him.
My goal was to lead you to this fork in the road where you must make a choice. Will you follow Christ the way He asked you to? Will you choose to crosswalk, to die daily?
Realistically, I know that my flesh doesn't want to be crucified, to carry a cross. I don't even like skipping a meal, wouldn't think of subjecting my body to taking cold showers, have zero tolerance for discomfort, and am insulted if ridiculed, misunderstood or betrayed. I don't want to give up my rights, my liberties or my life. Why don't I?

Are you serious?
Why would I ever want to?!

Good question.
Why would you ever want to?

I can tell you one reason why I would never want to, selfishness.
As long as I am still asking the question, "what's in it for me?", I'll never want to follow Christ the only way He has given.

Fools for Christ

"The natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised." 1 Corinthians 2:14

The foolishness of God is wiser than any wisdom man thinks he has, and the weakness of God is stronger than any strength that man can muster up. When God wanted to put to shame the wise of the world, He chose to do that through the foolish of the world, and when He wanted to shame the strong of the world, He chose to use the weak of the world to do that. He has chosen what is despised, what is nothing, in order to cancel the things that exist. Why? This makes no sense to the natural way of thinking.
The reason for such bizarre methods is so that no man will boast before Him.
I don't know about you, but I like the idea of being important, I find myself wanting to impress others. Do you  like to hear people say good things about you? It's pretty cool to have the chance to show off your skills. Even if I'm doing it for the Lord, there is always this side of me that wants to be recognized, to get credit for what I do. I admit it, I want to hear praises, and when I do, they easily overshadow all other motivations. God is not impressed with my bragging rights, neither is He fooled by my appearances. The Lord brings to light the things hidden in the darkness and discloses the motives of my heart. Darkness conveniently hides what is ugly. There came a time when the Lord disclosed that I calculated and timed everything I did to bring me honor and praise. I was more concerned with what man saw than with what God thought.

Paul has heard from people in Chloe's house that the church in Corinth is divided and quarreling. There seems to be a competition among the believers; they have made following men a source of division. "But is Christ divided?" Paul asks. Apparently, they are divided over who has the greatest wisdom, or who has the best delivery, or even the best message. The Corinthian believers are elevating their teachers, and in so doing, elevating their own status. So Paul asks them point blank, "based on whose opinion are you superior?" "What do you have that you didn't first receive?" And if it was given to you, why do you presume to boast about it as if you could take credit for it? Oh, you are such full, rich kings now, and that, of course, would mean that we are kings too.
Do you imagine yourselves walking into the amphitheater, or better yet, riding in on a glorious chariot with all eyes on you. Surrounded by thousands of people, can you touch the awe in the air, hear the roar of the crowd shouting your name? You are finally, truly known for how great you are, finally full of the honor you have wanted, and you would have us there right beside you.
But, and this is a really big "but", God has chosen a completely opposite and an absolutely more inferior way for us at the end of the line. We are those who arrive last to the amphitheater, a spectacle of death to all those who see us, to be jeered and taunted.
"we have become a spectacle to the world, both to angels and to men. 
We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are prudent in Christ; 
we are weak, but you are strong; 
you are distinguished, but we are without honor. 
To this present hour we are both hungry and thirsty, 
and are poorly clothed, and are roughly treated, and are homeless; 
and we toil, working with our own hands; 
when we are reviled, we bless; 
when we are persecuted, we endure; 
when we are slandered, we try to conciliate; 
we have become as the scum of the world, 
the dregs of all things, even until now." 
1 Corinthians. 4:9-13

Scum of the world?? Dregs of all things??
What are you trying to say Paul?

A couple of years ago, there was a massive rain fall where we live that resulted in a foot of sewage water in our basement. I was away helping my mother recuperate from surgery, so it fell to my husband and daughter to clean up the mess. A few weeks afterwards, we noticed there was still a smell in the basement. A plugged drain had been overlooked, so when the grate was lifted.... ooof! I will not attempt to describe the nauseating nature of the scum that was left. Some things are just too disgusting!
Paul, your word is not very flattering, nor very nice.

The Greeks also had a special use for this word translated "scum". It's what they would call the criminals who were kept for the purpose of being offered up as sacrifices to the gods whenever a calamity occurred.  Did Paul possibly have this meaning in mind when he described himself this way?
Is that really what you think, Paul, because that just doesn't seem natural!
I'm not likely to consider myself this way, but I often fear that other people do. Maybe that is what Paul is saying. He could be moaning about the mistreatment he's gotten from the world. That seems more logical, less absurd, more natural, more like me.

But if Paul was describing how the world viewed him, why would he say it is God who has put him in the theater for public exhibition as a man condemned to death? He knows that God has not set him up as wise, honored and the strong of this world, but as a fool for Christ sake, full of dishonor and weakness.
Paul is describing himself as a spectacle, as scum, in order to make a point with Corinthian believers, who seem to think that man should seek significance and elevate their status among each other?


"And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to babes in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?" 1 Corinthians 3:2-3

These Christians were dividing themselves in order to follow the man who had the most to offer them in the way of boosting their status, increasing their value. They were walking like natural men and not in the Spirit, and their lives reflected it. They thought they were wise, but their wisdom had all the features of the one James warned us about.
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural , demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. " James 3:14-16

I think, if my goal is to walk by the Spirit and die daily, I would do well to learn from Paul. He seems to have figured out what taking up his cross and following Jesus looks like.
But why would I want to make his brand of cross-walking my goal? Can't I design my own walk? Does it have to look like Paul's?

It's Just Not Natural

I have a default setting, and that is to do what comes naturally.
Problem is that by going with the default setting, I consistently choose not to walk by the Spirit.
Just what do I mean by "naturally"?
I mean my physical flesh, my human nature, my sinful nature, my personality, my emotions, my hormones, my old self, my skills, my talents, my traits good or bad, my passions and desires.  By default, I will react according to my human nature. By default, I will walk in the flesh, trying to "put my best foot forward."
What comes naturally to you?
Let's see if I think about it, what can I come up with?
It is natural for me to rely on myself, complain, be irritable, be influenced by my hormones, whine, yell, plot revenge, pout, show off, demand my rights, ridicule others, be impatient, flirt, be sensual, gossip, take the easy way out, put my needs first, defend myself, avoid suffering, think I'm right, want to look good in front of others, compare myself, be jealous, divide, compete, get angry, give up, be self-righteous, seek justice, deny mercy.

STOP!

Whoa, was not expecting all that to be what comes out of the natural me!
Truthfully, it is what I do without thinking, what I revert to when I'm tired, when I'm not exercising any self-control. (which is most of the time)
I don't ever wake up saying to myself, now today you need to work on being irritable. It's not like my first instinct is to think I'm wrong and have to tell myself "be willing to be right", ha! No one had to teach me to impress others, I caught on to that quite naturally. I have a natural tendency to want to hide or fix those things I don't like about myself, while promoting the things I do. I put the positive out on stage for all to see, and cover up the negatives behind the curtain. At least, that is what I think I'm doing. But in the end, it is all natural, all fleshly, all worldly. Like the filthy rags of my righteous deeds, eventually, my impressive acts look like what they are, dull, stained, tarnished, rotting, selfish, worthy of the dung heap.

Can there be spiritual value in what comes naturally to us? Do we mistakenly infuse what is natural with spiritual virtue? Is there virtue in being musically gifted, in being at ease talking in front of a big crowd, in being a people-pleaser, in being soft spoken, in being attractive or good at making friends? Do any of these things make us spiritual?

Some of what is natural requires death to deal with it, and some of it requires a good haul to the trash dump, all of it needs to come under the control of the Spirit. Paul would tell us that death, to some degree, has already occurred in the believer, "our old self was crucified with Him" (Romans 6:6), and "those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:24). He would also say that we play an active role in "putting to death whatever belongs to your earthly nature", while replacing it with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, meekness, patience, tolerance and forgiveness, specifically for someone you would rather complain about, and above all love, the glue that holds us all together in harmony. We must also rid ourselves of such things as anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language and lying.
(Colossians 3)

To walk by the Spirit, requires something that is completely unnatural to who I am, and completely impossible without the Spirit. It is unnatural for me to admit I need help, to be wrong, to turn the other cheek, to love my enemies, do good to them, submit, give thanks in all things, suffer, be weak, surrender my rights, love mercy, be faithful, pray, be humble, be content, unify, be a slave, give in.

Crucifying the flesh is just not natural!
Without the Spirit, how can we even begin to choose to die to self today, and again tomorrow, and the next day after that?

Every day now I am tested, and this Scripture I read, these words I write reverberate in my head. Then I tell myself...
"this is it"
"this is your chance to die"
"this is your chance to feel the weight of the beam on your shoulders."

Cross-walkers

The hour for the Son of Man to be glorified had come, and Jesus said, "unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it; and he who hates his life in this world shall keep it to life eternal. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there shall My servant also be; if anyone serves Me the Father will honor him." John 12:23-26

That hour for Jesus Christ was death on a cross and resurrection from the grave three days later. In His day, death by crucifixion wasn't just the most painful method of execution, it was equally humiliating. The criminal was required to carry his own crossbeam to his death, where he was hung as a spectacle, often stripped naked. Only the lowest of society was subjected to this form of punishment.
And this was the death Jesus took to bear the punishment for our sin.
But before He faced that cross, Jesus said,
 "If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." Luke 9:23
John Piper titles a chapter in 5o Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die, "to create a band of crucified followers".  He writes "when Christ went to the cross, his aim was to call a great band of believers after Him. The reason for this was not that Jesus must die again today, but that we must. When He bids us take up His cross, He means come and die." Jesus wants those who follow Him to be cross-walkers, to be believers who will walk in the Spirit with a cross on their back.
In other words, Jesus is telling us, that to follow Him, we must wake up everyday with a death sentence; we must be dead men walking.

Well, the hour for a decision has come.
What will you do with your flesh?
To truly walk in the Spirit, we must crucify the flesh. To crucify the flesh, we must die to self.
Will you be one of Jesus's crucified followers?
Will you learn to crosswalk?

"So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh, for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'" Romans 8:12-15

By the Spirit, we put to death the deeds of the body, then we truly live, even live free of fear.
But instead of executing the flesh, I see us pampering it. We keep it alive because we want to feel good, or we rely on it to do the "good" that others can see, to build our confidence and sense of self-worth. This is the essence of what trips us up, of what makes us feel that we aren't growing spiritually, of what makes us so tired of ourselves. We have such confidence in our flesh, that we trust it to be the voice of reality in our lives, to be telling us the truth of our identity in Christ.
Could we possibly be more deceived than that?!
It is flesh's crowning triumph of deception, but sadly for us, it is a snare of lies and fear.