"Whoa, Lord, I'm feeling really negative this morning. Where is it coming from? It affects my attitude. It turns inward and attacks what I do, or the lack of what I do. Outwardly, it judges others, always with a negative perspective. To be honest it makes me feel like a monster. I don't know how to live with it. Is it a part of who I am and I need to accept it, learn to subject it to the power of the Spirit? Or is it sin that I need to get rid of so that it doesn't entangle my feet?
"The Word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit and of joints and marrow, and it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." heb4:12 This negativity with which I struggle needs to be exposed to the Word of God, the only source that can pierce it and judge it."
I wrote this in my journal eight years ago when I was really struggling to understand why God had made me the way I was. I had spent so many years trying to change things in myself, in order to become the person who could fulfill my purpose in life. I had never stopped to consider if my purposes agreed with the Lord's. It was beginning to dawn on me that I was going about this all the wrong ways. God had designed me for His purposes, and everything He does is good. That had to be the premise from which I launched into understanding who I was in Christ, since "having believed in Him, I was sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise" eph1:13, I knew that the Spirit within me had to have the answer.
The Word of God, also known as the sword of the Spirit, will cut deep and will cut with precision, and like any physical cut, it will hurt, but it will also be so beautiful in its simplicity. The only thing keeping me from simplicity was my flesh, who seems to get a perverted delight in complicating and confusing everything.
Ask and you shall receive. Really. It's that simple. I promise.
Before I had gotten up from my chair that morning, the Lord gave me this answer.
"And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to Whom we must give account." heb4:13
Who am I to judge another?
James says "There is only one lawgiver and judge, the One who is able to save and destroy. Who am I to judge my neighbor?" 4:12
First of all, only He who is righteous, He who wrote the law, can truly judge. For me to make myself the judge of another is to make myself out to be God. Secondly, the fear of my own day of judgment, where I will stand before the Lord, where He will expose me and I will give an account, should give me enough cause for so much trembling that I don't have the grounds to stand and judge.
Think on this:
"But where sin increased, grace abounded all the more."rom5:20
I must never be overwhelmed, discouraged or critical of sin - my own or another's- but see grace like a huge ocean tsunami rising up behind it, then I will fall on my knees and praise God for His mercy.
Is there one of us without sin? Am I to judge the sin of another?
Jesus took that right away from those who would stone the prostitute*.
We are not under the law anymore, therefore, we are no longer called to throw stones.
So is that a rock in your hand?"
*read it in John 8:1-11
