Every human being wants to be loved, but how much do we all want to give love?
This disparity in wanting and giving could be a problem; somebody is going to get left out.
We long to be loved, but equal to that desire is our capacity to hate.
We long to be loved, but do we, as Stephen Chbosky said in his book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, "accept the love we think we deserve"? Is that true for you? Do you have a hard time accepting love from others, because you don't feel as if you deserve it? Do you find it easier to accept love when you feel you have done something to earn it?
Likewise, do you believe that there are people who don't deserve to be loved? Have you ever felt as if you wasted your love on someone? Do people have limited opportunities to gain your love?
It seems natural to think of love in terms of reward.
All you need is love, but it's not that simple, is it?
We need some guidelines.
Love should never be difficult.
Love should bring out the best version of ourselves.
Love should make us feel good on the inside.
Love should never hurt or make us cry our eyes out.
Love should let you be yourself.
Love should make everything seem better.
Love should come naturally and easily.
Love isn't something you should have to work at.
There are two inherent dangers with this concept of love. First, if real love is easy, then I will think that it wasn't all that difficult for God to love me, and secondly, if I expect love should be easy, I won't succeed in walking in the Spirit, because I'm going to turn back to flesh as soon as love gets hard, and it will be hard, believe me.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable," says C.S. Lewis. "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." from The Four Loves
Let's be honest, we all know that love is painful.
Love hurts.
Love is risky.
Love is not free.
My husband told his class one day that he loved me out of obligation. You should have heard the girls howl. They were outraged. How could he say such a thing! Love should be wrapped up in warm feelings before it is given, but this... this thing sounded naked and cold. They would never accept that kind of love! I understood exactly what my husband was saying; he is loving me the way Christ loved the church and I would gladly accept that kind of love, because I trust his faithful integrity to his promises more than in my ability to earn his love.
“A new commandment I give to you," Jesus told his disciples on that fateful night when he was taken by soldiers to be tortured and then crucified. That new commandment is "that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34
Imagine yourself in that upper room when Jesus said this; imagine looking around at each person there.
What are you thinking about them?
"Really Lord???? Love Peter! Have you seen the way he behaves? He is so loud, always talking without thinking. He's pushy, and a show-off. And I don't think I should have to love John either; he already gets enough love and attention from you. Why should I have to give him more? And what about that big move for power he and his brother made. They used their mother to try and influence you, sick! Never really trusted them since, and you can't love someone you don't trust. Thomas has to question everything, and that can get really old. I'd rather avoid him and his negativity altogether. He's a hard one to love. Poor Philip, it always takes him twice as long to catch on. He’s kind of dense, which tries my patience all the time. He's a loser, Lord. Loving him would be a waste of my time.
I can easily dismiss people I find too hard to love, but Jesus doesn't do that. Look at the men in this room through His eyes. Did any of them "deserve" to be loved? One friend has sold his trust and is ready to betray him, another will deny ever knowing him. His closest friends won't be able to stay awake to pray for him and support him in his pain, and right now, all they can do is think and argue about who will be the greatest. This is what he saw when he looked at them. Do you really think it was easy for him to love them? Still, knowing they will abandon him, he says to them, "you are those who have stood by Me in My trials," knowing that Peter will fail, He offers him restoration before it even happens.
(Luke 22:28,32)
To love in the Spirit is to love the most difficult people you will ever meet, without merit and without limit.
“I can’t love them that way!!!”, you say.
Jesus would answer, of course you can't, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.”
“If you love Me, ask whatever you wish.”
“If you love Me, you will love them”.
"To love means to open ourselves to suffering."
Elizabeth Elliot, The Path of Loneliness
Excuse me Lord, but this is really hard. I wasn't prepared for this kind of dying when I signed on for walking by the Spirit, wasn't prepared to walk in this kind of love.
I didn't realize that walking in the Spirit is a team sport.
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